Lisa is pitching her memoir CALAMITY BECOMES ME to literary agents.
Lisa Mae DeMasi ricocheted through life having endless calamities which included three car accidents, numerous health issues, disastrous jobs, and a string of toxic relationships. She thought her rollercoaster ride of bad karma would never end until, at the age of forty-one, she visualized the man of her dreams and manifested her Mr. Right and a life worth living.
A kick-in-the-ass memoir about survival, told with insight, reflection and laugh out loud moments.
In 1985 at the age of twenty, Lisa met her first true love, seventeen-year-old, Michael. Life was a huge adventure, and they were addicted to each other until one winter’s day, they set off in Michael’s beat-up VW Rabbit to head to his house for sex and pancakes. Within the hour, driving fast along icy roads, Michael skidded and crashed his car into another, and Lisa ended up in the hospital. Whilst Michael came out of the accident unscathed, Lisa sustained a ruptured pancreas and intestine. After her mother forced her to terminate the relationship, her body felt broken as well as her heart.
In 1987, she met her first husband Tim. He gave her stability and supported her with her ongoing hospital visits, but there was zero chemistry, and she soon got bored. In retrospect, she was a bitch, and after an affair with her boss, they separated.
In 1995, at the age of thirty, after endless studying, unfulfilling jobs and shallow flings, she headed for the Rockies to find herself, working on a ranch in Cody, WY with horses and a bunch of misogynistic hillbillies who thought independent women were strange. Within a few months, she’d had her second car accident, driving too fast around a hairpin bend, as her car bounced into the Shoshone River taking her with it.
Ever the trooper, she was soon back at work on crutches with most of the cowboy ranch hands avoiding her, no doubt thinking her bad luck might rub off on them. However, karma wasn’t done with her yet, and within a month, she met her former husband Tim for dinner, and was mowed down in Cody central by a hit and run driver. This time, she’d seriously damaged her leg and soon the ranch had no use for her. She headed further west hoping to find new work, some good fortune and maybe a sprinkle of love, driving her truck with a busted knee.
But her trip came to a halt as her leg became more and more painful and she had another stint in the hospital. Forced to let her leg heal, she hit rock bottom and in the depths of despair, she had a vision of Jesus, and decided the way forward was to dedicate herself to God. She attended a Southern Baptist church where she repented her sins and over the next few months participated in several ministries, helping others, and even became a teacher to a Christian couple’s kids. Although with nothing ever being straightforward, that stint ended up in a strip joint when the Christian man of the house invited her to come along with his friend. An invite for a threesome with his wife had her running for the hills and once more looking for work.
She then shared a house in the Tucson mountains with a Christian former photographer and tennis player called Pierce, his mother, and enough cats to make a colony. But after her unrequited love for Pierce, more health problems, and parting with a huge amount of her savings to help Pierce make a fresh start, she ended up drinking and hitting that damned rock bottom again. She returned battered and bruised to her parent’s house where she assumed residence in their bedroom in the basement. Where was she going wrong?
A few years later, disillusioned with another toxic relationship with a man called Tom who she met on a Christina dating site, she found herself learning about the law of attraction, and started visualizing the right man for her—a professional, hardworking, and attractive guy who was stable and unattached and seeking the same in a woman. The law of attraction worked—and at the age of 41, she met Dennis, a successful, older man that she finally married last year in 2020.
She’s always given everything one hundred per cent in life whether it was a good or bad choice. Her life story is an adventure she wanted to share in these troubled times—that out of tragedy, if we change our mindset, we can transform our pain into hope, and a wonderful new beginning.
Lisa lives near Boston, where she writes, rides horses and holds a full time job writing technology blogs for VMware. You can contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org and follow her on Twitter and LinkedIn.